Eye left a piece of my heart on lake zoar

So. . . I'm done, finished, my time is over and I can't believe it. Even though there were days I felt like lasted for years, it flew by and now I'm headed home. Even though I am more excited than I have ever been to go home and be with my family and see all my friends, there is still something missing. A part of me feels empty. This adventure of mine was not just something you do and then just look at the pictures and say ah that was fun. I grew to love my little boys. I was the closest thing to a mother they had besides their own mom. I am so used to having a 30 pound bundle of joy connected to my hip at all times. Come monday morning I won't know what to do with my self. No babies to feed, change, and bathe. No blood sugar to keep track of. Nolittle kiddies to worry about constantly. But I'm going to miss them like crazy and their silly personalities as well!

forever and ever.

So a couple of months ago my dear friend Anne Marie shared her last hours with her daughter through an email sent out to many close friends. Now I can't lie, it took me over two months to finally open the email seeing as reading it would bring back many horrible memories from the day that haunts me. I have selfishly closed the door on many of my memories from that day but Anne Marie has asked that we share our last hours with the one and only Sophie Rose, so here I am.  I will try to be as candid and honest as I can be.  I do not want to share this with the intention of making others feel inferior, I do not want this to seem like I was the only one hurt by this loss, I just wanted to share my last hours with my best friend seeing as they were her last mortal hours in this place we call earth.

Monday, June 28th, 2010. . .

Around 8 o'clock or so my mother and I headed down to the stake center to depart from our normal lives and travel up to girls camp where we could just get away. Little did I realize how far away from my normal life I would go.

It was a beautiful sunny day. I remember throwing my bags in the big pile and reminiscing on a morning just like this only a couple years prior when Sophie and I headed up to Brighton Girls Camp together in the exact same spot climbing aboard a big yellow bus to take us away, it was all too familiar. I then noticed Sophie getting out of her car (much older and absolutely stunning, she had grown into such a beautiful girl) and making her way over to the baggage pile with all her stuff.  She had her guitar with her, she was going to play a song that night at the fireside. She and I had been asked to participate by one of our good friends who was on the camp activities board so we didn't have much room to decline the request. She was going to sing a song and I was supposed to give a talk. Neither of us had prepared for this in the slightest. We joked about how unprepared we were and how we would have to just "wing it."

We spent the bus ride doing what we did best, telling stories, laughing and talking. I wish I could tell you that we talked about things that were important. I wish I could say that our chats were meaningful and she gave me life altering advice but that is not the truth. If anything it was anything but that. We talked about boys, which ones were cute, which ones were a waste of time. We trash talked people who had wronged us. We laughed about stupid silly things that had happened. We basically talked about everything you could talk about that in a few short hours I would not give a care in the world to. Sophie was always a snuggler. She was very affectionate to everyone she loved. It always made me feel so special. Even when we were little girls sitting in primary she would always put her head on my shoulder. It made me feel loved, it made me feel like she needed me, like I was her sister. Uhhhh. . . Life can really just suck sometimes. Sometimes it just makes you wanna eat your own head. So if you don't understand my humor, don't take offense. I just learned from one of my dearest friends that sometimes when you think your life could not get any worse you just make a joke and chances are you end up laughing and you remember for a second why life is worth living and there is no better thing in this world than laughter so why not spread some more of it while you are at it.  

When we arrived at camp we unloaded the buses and set up camp and made our beds. Sophie and I fought over who got top bunk but if I remember correctly I think she generously let me win. To be honest though I think deep down we knew it didn't matter because we would have probably stayed up all night talking and laughing and telling stories just like we always did at sleep overs.  After our camp was set up and ready we headed down to lunch at the pavilion. They had some sort of speakers there, either camp directors or some old folks telling us all of the thousands of rules to abide while at camp. Of course Sophie and I did not bother to pay attention and spent the duration of their presentation goofing off and being loud and annoying despite our mothers disapproving looks. They told us we were being rude but that was just the way we were. We did what we wanted and what we wanted to do was be silly.  For lunch we ate chicken salad sandwiches that came with grapes and I'm sure some chips of some sort. Sophie and I quickly finished our first meal and began devising a plan of the least conspicuous way to go and retrieve another serving. We both ate two lunches that day. Calories were not a worry of ours. We laughed and joked about how piggish we were but we didn't care.  Not to mention I don't think there was a day you could call Sophie piggish with those legs of hers.  Sophie wore her mothers jeans to camp and I remember teasing her for having a mom's butt when she beant over. It wasn't like I could talk though cause I had mom jeans on that day too. So she teased me right back. As we left lunch we headed up to the restrooms and chatted as we went about our moms. They were both at camp with us this year and we talked about how much we admired our mothers friendship. We talked about how we wanted to be like that in the future and we hoped that our children would be friends with each other. . . . 

We grabbed our backpacks and we were off on the hike to the lake. I remember Sophie grabbed her scriptures and I told her why in the world would you bring your quad with you it would just be extra weight but she brought them anyways. On the hike we laughed and sang Celine Dion songs in honor of our previous Girls Camp traditions.  She told me how much she missed Scotty and how excited she was to see him. She told me how she was almost positive she was IN LOVE with him.  She told me everything she missed about him. Basically I just got a big ear full about Scotty. But I loved every minute of it because this was probably the happiest I had ever seen Sophie in her life, and she was one happy girl.  But there was just something different about it. She just seemed completely content with everything in her life and there was no heart ache. I have seen her go through just about every stage of life and I have seen her over come so many trials but on this day it was like everything had just fallen into place. She was radiating happiness.  We talked about the boys I liked and didn't like.  I was wearing the infamous Wayne Owens hat that day and I think subconsciously I made some sort of emotional connection with him because of that and because I talked about him to Sophie that day. Looking back on it now I don't know if it was just plain idiocy or if it was part of heavenly fathers design. If only I could go back to this day I would have done SO many things different and said many different things. 

After canoeing around the lake we began our hike back to camp. Little did I realize in those first few steps of this hike that my life was about to change forever. My simple life would soon turn into a horrible cinematic disaster. I will end here because the next few hours of my life are too painful and personal to share.  They are quite possibly the worst hours I will ever have to experience in my lifetime. The best way to put it in words is I was emotionally hit by a train. You know the expression "train wreck." Well it turns out they invented it for me. There are not a lot of things I know for sure from this point on in the day but there is one thing that I know without a shadow of a doubt. As I lay there in the Heber Mountain Emergency waiting room and I looked up at the ceiling I saw a stream of beautiful sunlight spilling into the room and I had the distinct feeling that Sophie was talking to me. It was not like I could see hear and its not like I could hear her. I just had the feeling that she was telling me that she was happy. She told me multiple times how happy she was and that it was meant to be. When you are faced with a trial with this kind of audacity you have a split second to make the most important decision of your life. Will you hate God or trust him with all of your heart and in my experience I decided the latter. I realized after only seconds the enormity of this loss and that I would not be able to do it on my own. I realized that God must know what he is doing. In my mind I was like he better have a dang good reason for taking my best friend away from me and I am still sticking to this theory.  I miss her everyday but I know that it was meant to be. I don't know why I just know it is.  It breaks my heart don't get me wrong but I know that my best friend is off with angels doing things I would never even imagine in my wildest dreams. 

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about this day and wonder why? I still don't know how or why she died. I don't know why I was the one to spend her last day on earth with. I don't know why I had to see the things I saw or hear the things I heard. I DO know that I will see her again and until then eyell be waiting, working, growing and preparing for the day that I will be called home to my heavenly father and I will see my Sophie Rose again. 

I know this vid may seem dumb to you but it makes me cry every time. This was taken only hours before Sophie passed and I still cant believe it. She was walking, laughing, singing. She was so happy.

el dia de padres

Happy Father's Day! My oh my how time is slipping away. I know I have already posted about my wonderful father, Thomas Kent, but he has given so much to me how could I not dedicate another post to him.  I'm so sad I won't be with my dad today. I miss singing to him in church when I was little and coloring him a tie in primary. . . the good ol days. My favorite time of day when I was little was when my dad would get home from work. Even better than that I loved the days I got to go to work with my dad. He is the smartest guy I know. He seriously can fix anything. The other day Susan had a paper jam in her printer and she asked me to take a look at it. . . Lets just say I don't think I made matters better and all I kept thinking was my dad could fix this in two seconds. I started to take the printer apart and Susan was like "Don't bother, I'll just get a new one." Ha my father would be anything but pleased with this answer.  I miss hangin out with my dad going skiing, cooking random crazy things, and watching the best movies in the world together. I can't wait for August when we get to go to the beach together (our favorite place in the world). I love my papa!

summer nights

It just can't get better than this. Weekend nights are like the best things in the world here. So I'll give ya a little preview of what they are like. Of course I miss the summer nights stayin out all night with my friends but this summer is different. I have had the opportunity to learn and grow and experience life outside of the 801. Usually around six or seven whenever we finish eating we head out on the boat to ski. Eric, the 8 year old does dock starts and is so fun to watch when he skis cause he just has so much fun out there. He weighs like 60 lbs and he just does the craziest things. He still skis on two and oh my does he take advantage of it. He like hops around like a bunny and will ski sitting down while still doing the course. He is one silly kid. Adam, the 10 year old gets up on one and is basically the best 10 year old slalom skier in the state of Connecticut. He seriously is so good, but he rarely goes out. Then there is me. They started having me ski on Susan's ski now that I'm getting better though and it helps get sharper cuts and what not. It is so much fun going out at night though cause we basically have the lake to ourselves and so its just you and the nice calm water out there. I only took one hard fall tonight though and nothing is broken so I'm all good. I do get some freakin gnarly bruises though. When we got back I went out on the wave runner with Eric. He is always trying to throw me off and considering he is only 60 lbs I wouldn't have a chance if I just held on to him so I hold onto the handles despite his wishes.  It was the most beautiful night though. The sun had just gone down and the ski was pink and we were just out there having a blast on the wave runner.  It seriously was so pretty though. All the docks are lit up and people are outside sittin by their fires. If only I had my camera to capture this moment but its kinda hard when your going wild and crazy on the wave runner and getting everything wet from head to toe.  When we got back we hopped in the hot tub for a min to warm up from the cold lake water.  Then I went in and got showered off to go out and sit by the fire and make me some s'mores! The boys wanted me to play night games with them so I obliged for a while. Then when I was finally run down I went down and sat down with the parents and their friends. They are always super nice and include me in on their conversations. One of their friends was super interested in hearing about my religion and I was so stoked to tell him about it. Not many people ask and I do not want to impose especially because I am a guest in their house but if I am asked I am more than willing to tell. I shared me testimony with him and things were going super well. I was so happy and the longer we talked the more I realized he was talking in circles and repeating the same questions and then it dawned on me how drunk he probably was ha. My nanny parents always have a drink or two when we eat and what not but they never drink until they are wasted and it just didn't occur to me that I was talking to a drunkie ha. So I don't think our conversation really resonated with the guy but it was nice to share my beliefs with someone even if he wont remember it in the morn! Crazy stuff living in a different lifestyle, but it is so interesting to see it first hand.  Despite my well intentioned missionary efforts it was a beautiful summer night sitting down on the docks under the bright night sky. Who knew I was being eaten alive until the next morning when my legs were so itchy I was ready to cut them off ha but all I don't let the bugs bug me too much!

my cinematic adventure!

So I have always wanted to go to the movies by myself. . . and last Tuesday evening I finally did it! And it was the best experience of my life. I never like movies when I go on dates or with friends cause you end up talking and missing a lot of the key points so when I get into movies you might as well kill yourself if you bug me. That is why I had this brilliant idea that maybe I should just go to the movie theater by myself and boom, I did it. However, this was no ordinary theater. It was the old town hall where they show movies. . . haha I was shocked when I found out that is where they see their movies and I was dying to go there. They were showing Safe House and I had been dying to see it since it came out so I made my way up to the town hall after work and I stepped inside the old building and man is it old. It seriously reminds me of the buildings the colonists built, I mean they probably did build this after all! When I went in I realized their was a balcony and I had always wanted to watch a movie from a balcony so I stepped outside to ask the guy at the door how you get up there. He quickly informed me it was closed, it is only open on the weekends :( Forlorn, I stepped back in the theater to find a seat when all of the sudden the guy at the door was behind me tapping me on the shoulder. He said he would make an exception for me! I was so stoked, he walked me to the stairs and told me to wait while he got his keys and he asked where my friends were. . . oooo awkward. He seriously almost laughed at me when I said I was alone but he let me up there anyways. The movie was freaking amazing and it was so much fun sitting up by the projector, it makes those clicking noises just like the old projectors and it just created such a dope atmosphere. When the movie ended and I walked out side it was dusk and main street looked so pretty. They have flags probably every ten feet. Did I mention they are patriotic out here like all year long? Well they are. Anyways, if you have not ever been to the movies alone I definitely encourage you. It was probably the best movie theater experience I have ever had! 

Yes I had the balcony all to myself!

Town Hall/ Movie Theater!

I had a nice foot rest. .  . doesn't get better than this

and I ask myself why I don't have more friends. . . 

my HAPPY in Connecticut. . .

So when I first moved here and things were looking gloomy. . . literally. And I promised myself that I would find my own happy here in my new place of residence. In Utah things I know the things that make me happy like the back of my hand and they are all at my fingertips but here in Connecticut was a big mystery and adventure waiting to happen. I know this list will probably grow until the day I leave but I thought I would share some of the things that bring me the most joy here on the East Coast.  

First thing is the natural beauty of Connecticut. It is so close to the City, which is amazing in itself but natural is not one of the best descriptions. However, Connecticut has the most beautiful scenery. It is basically like living in one big forest. My little neighborhood right along the banks of the Zoar river/lake has the most spectacular views and vibes. My favorite thing to do is to go for a jog at night and then go chill out by the lake and just enjoy the peacefulness and beauty around me. It is like the best place to day dream and anyone who knows me understands how much I enjoy daydreaming.

The next thing that I love doing is reading, not just any books, but books of my choice. This is like nirvana compared to college reading. I can just get lost in a book so easily and I don't have any distractions distracting me. I have not read for fun in the longest time and it is just one of life's simple happiness'. 

The next thing on my list is more of an addiction really. It is so bad. My payday is Friday and I am free for the weekend to go out and SHOP. I love shopping more than anything else. Finding something fun or exciting is like finding buried treasure and I seriously crave it. I do not know how I'm going to get all my stuff home. There is just something about shopping by yourself, taking your own sweet time and going through racks and racks of clothes to find what you didn't even know you were searching for in the first place but now you realize you would die without it.  I seriously spend hours going from shop to shop and it is like the best feeling ever. . . Except when I add up all that I have spent, that is not as good of a feeling.

Receiving mail. . . BEST THING. I love going out to the mailbox and finding a letter or a package waiting for me. I have been fortunate enough to receive some very kind and thoughtful packages and letters while I have been here and I seriously die every time I see my name on something. 

Making Kevin, the baby, laugh. Its probably the easiest and most rewarding thing I do all day is making my little stinker giggle. He is one little chunky kid and man is he a lot of work but at the end of the day hearing him laugh reminds me why I love him so much. 

Water skiing. It is a new found talent and I am definitely not a pro by any stretch of the imagination but I am getting better and better every time I go and its like a natural high. You feel so accomplished when you realized your improvement and every time you push it just a little bit more and get a little bit better it is like the best feeling. Also since they live right on the lake skiing on pure glass is not even a question for them, "there is no other kind of water condition that is appropriate for such an activity" as they say.  So its just you flying across the water.  

Exploring the East Coast. . .Going into New York City is SO much fun, mostly because I am able to just explore and do my own thing with my friends. I also like doing this on my own in my spare time Ill go out on a run or take the car out and just go explore. I get to see and experience different parts of the world and its just pure bliss.  

So my list could go on and on but I will end it here for now. I just wanted to give you a taste of why I love being out here on my adventure SO much!

these pics just make me happy so enjoy!

day of memory

MEMORIAL DAY! Paid Holidays. . . nice times. (nimes) So I did what I do best. I slept in really late and then headed outside to chill on the dock. The fam was out on the boat and it was a beautiful nice sunny day. I started reading my book for a minute until the fam came back and got me to come out on the boat with them. The kids had already done their share of tubing and skiing and what not so apparently it was my turn to go waterskiing!? Ha my first time ever waterskiing was the previous Friday night and I still felt like I could hardly move a muscle but they threw me out in the freezing water anyways.  Boom, got up my first try with no trouble! So apparently some of my muscles do still work.  Now they were shouting telling me to drop one of the skis. . . are they insane?! I just barely learned how to ski on two how in the world did they think I was ready for one? But I did it anyways, and it is a miracle, I didn't die. I am still a little shaky and my cuts are anything but beautiful. Don't worry my momentary glory did not last long. It was a busy day on the lake and the water was not what you would call glass and I took some serious falls. People out on their docks were all dying. . . laughing at this poor girl's wipe out. But, I am proud to tell you I lived to tell the tale. I spent the rest of the day out by the lake swimming and playing with the kids. You basically have to throw them in the lake to get them in but they have one of those big blow up slides and they put the dish soap on it to make them go faster. . dare devil boys. So they spend most of their time on that. They are always looking for ways to break their necks.  Around 5 their family showed up for a bbq which was lots of fun. They are all so welcoming to me and its fun to interact with another family and observe how other families work.  After dinner we went out on a pontoon boat ride. . . So I bet you are wondering what a pontoon boat is, I was so confused when I first moved here and they talked about their pontoon  boat, I could see that they had more than one boat and what not but I had never heard of such a thing. So this is not a technical description its just my best way of describing it. So its basically like a mini mini house boat. It has those two canoe lookin things on the bottom. Its one level with couches, tables and chairs. Its main purpose is to just go out on the lake and chill. You go like 10 miles/hour (if that) and you just go out and enjoy the lake. I mean if you ask me its a big waste of money considering its the price of a car but apparently all the cool kids have them. . . But really all the cool people on the lake really do have them.  They are everywhere. People just go out and drink and party and have a merry old time out on the water.  It was a nice time for me though cause they gave me the grand tour of their part of the lake.  They told me stories about it and its history and everything.  It really is such a pretty lake to live on.  It has lots of different sections to it, the residential area, the summer cottages, the vacation homes. Some areas are old log cabins with rope swings and what not that remind of me of Tom Sawyer for some reason. Lake Zoar is freakin enormous though so obviously I did not get the entire tour but a good portion of it. We were out there just as the sun was setting and it was absolutely beautiful. When we got back we had some nice cake and ice cream. A fantastic ending to a fantastic day off.

A night on the town in the big NYC

This last Saturday I had the opportunity to go into the city with a couple of darling girls. Mackenzie Nelson and I caught the afternoon train into the city by mere seconds. It was pretty exciting buying our tickets and running to jump on the train just before the doors shut but luckily we made it!

heading into the big apple!

this is my gossip girl tribute. SVW xoxo

After a short train ride we arrived in Grand Central Station and we journeyed out into the city! We walked for a couple of blocks until we got to the one and only Serendipity! We met up with Eden and Illea at the restaurant and turned our name in. After just an hour and a half, the host FINALLY called our names and we were let into the restaurant! Dinner was so delicious and the famous frozen hot chocolate was even better. I was officially in heaven. I even bought the cook book so I can make myself so of that heaven whenever I want!

After dinner we walked down to central park just as the sun was setting. It was absolutely beautiful. Also we had perfect weather which was lucky because the city tends to be a little bit colder than everywhere else. During our stroll though Central Park I decided it would be fun to climb up on some rocks because there was a better view. Ya, not a great idea when the shoes you are wearing have absolutely NO grip what so ever. I only took one tumble though and caused just a slight scene haha all the people around were probably like "wow stupid blonde."

Bottom left corner is the plaza. So stoked to finally see in person where my favorite movie, Home Alone 2 was filmed!

central park chillin

We then made our way to time square which was my personal favorite just as the sun set. It was perfect. I loved how colorful and exciting it was. There is so much going on and the stores are so fun! We stopped in the M and M store, the Disney Store cause you know I'm still just a kid at heart. Chocolate and Disney are still my favorite things. 

ya its just me and my boy Nick Jonas in Time Square together.

Minnie Mouse just has a special place in my heart

this is my welcome to my humble abode pose. . . practicing to be a princess

Mackenzie took it pretty rough when I informed her that Prince Eric was mine

Time Square

All day long I kept seeing the Chrysler building and thinking it was the Empire State Building but finally just before we left the city I spotted it. It was lit up green tonight!

Life on the lake

This picture does not do it justice. I snapped this pick on the most beautiful hazy morning.

Its finally warming up! This weekend was so fun! I was finally able to get some sun and go swimming in the lake. It is a completely different lifestyle for those that live on the shore. I'm so used to a day at the lake being quite the experience, waking up early and packing a lunch but actually living on the lake year round they sure do take it for granted. They are so casual about it. Last Saturday I woke up and went downstairs to have some break fast and my nanny mom came in and offered me to go jump on the jet ski. Ha so I went out on the lake in my pajamas. . . ha ha it was exciting. It was a pretty cold day so I was just worried about sprayin myself with the water. But I made it back to the dock with out to much self inflicted water damage.  This weekend was different though, it was so warm and sunny. I woke up early to go for a run then I went and took a nap on the dock, when I woke up I realized I should probably go get a swimming suit on because I was getting some crazy tan lines. I took a couple of rides on the jet ski and went swimming in the freezing cold lake. I am the only one crazy enough apparently to jump in on my own free will. Sunday's are hard cause I wanna join the family and go play on the lake but I'm a saint and I venture out to church like the good little girl that I am. One of my favorite things about living on the lake is how peaceful it is. I usually go for runs in the evening and when I get back I go chill on the dock and put my feet in the water. During the week there is rarely anyone on the lake so its just you and the water. I think I'm really going to miss this place when I leave. 

dock chillin

Happy Mothers Day to the best Mom in the World!

Today is the day we celebrate our great mothers but unfortunately this year I won't be with my mama. So I just wanted to write a couple of words about the one and only Kay Naylor aka the best lady ever. My Mom is one of the funniest, craziest, most down to earth people people in the world. My mom is my best friend and I tell her everything. I can always count on her to help me out no matter what the problem is. She also has this contagious laugh and you often find yourself laughing harder just because she is. And let me tell ya my family does a lot of laughing. Kay also is one of the prettiest mom's I know if I do say so myself. She also has this amazing ability to tell the best stories ever. She can have you laughing your guts out or crying till your eyes are swollen. Kay has taught me some of the most important lessons a person can learn in this life like the bigger the bow the better, and don't buy it unless you absolutely love it. My mom always had me dressed in a cute little outfit and some sort of extravagant hair style everyday when I was little which is part of the reason I gained such an interest in doing hair is because I never got to do my own haha. Kay also for the most part is very understanding (except in the middle of the night and she is very sleepy ha) and loving to everyone she comes in contact with. This past year I brought all sorts of fun and interesting people home with me from school and she always welcomed them to our home like they were her own kids, making them meals and doing their laundry.  My mom just has a way of making people feel comfortable around her. Often times my friends will tell my mom things that they took months to tell me their selves because she is so easy to talk to.  I love hanging out with my mom and seeing movies or going out to lunch or my personal favorite, shopping!  She always has a good story to tell and can make a rock smile.  My mom is also a fabulous cook which I hope to learn from her soon seeing as next year I'm on my own with out the cannon making my every meal.  One of my favorite qualities that I love about my mom is her passion for life. She is also very stubborn and she has strong opinions on a lot of things but that is what makes her so fun to be around.  I love my mom so stinkin much! I honestly don't know what I would do with out her. 

Love always, her little pill

My Papa's Birthday

Thomas Kent Naylor. . .

Today was the birth of my phenomenal father. Although everyone thinks I am just like my mom, my dad and I share many of the same traits and qualities that make me the lovable person I am today. This is why we get along so well. I love hanging out with my dad. He has this witty sense of humor that is not understood by all but that makes him all the funnier to me. He is the smartest, silliest, craziest, most Christ like person I have ever met.  He is always worrying about other people and putting himself last. He taught me to love the outdoors and to embrace adventures. I always loved going camping with my brothers and my dad. He taught me to try new things and enjoy the simple beauties this life has to offer. He also makes a dank salsa that is out of this world.  I love my daddy. However, this year I am not able to celebrate my dad's birthday with him. So our malts will have to wait for now!
Happy Birthday to the best Dad in the world! 

the best day ever. .

My first weekend. . . .aka time off. After a long week of being a pretend mom I was ready for a break and to top things off, IT WAS FINALLY SUNNY! I woke up around 11 which is far later than my usual 7:30 wake up call and I knew I was starting my day off right. I woke up and the family had headed out to the boys baseball games so I had the house to my self so I made myself a bowl of cheerios and went outside to sit on the back porch to eat them.  It was nice and sunny but not very warm out. After breakfast I headed out to the dock to chill and listen to some music and what not.  I even painted my toe nails, which I have not done forever! When the family got home we grilled some burgers and I ate one of my most favorite things in the world. bacon cheese burger. I love hamburgers so stinkin much. Hands down favorite summertime food, well anytime food really.  I honestly have to tell myself to put it down once I have started. My girl Cassidi and I gained an obsession with them this past year and now I am addicted.  After lunch I went shopping with my nanny mom and ran some errands with her which I found out is the right thing to do. We went to a couple of stores to pick up the kids some stuff they had been needing and then we went to a couple of stores and shopped around for ourselves. I found this darling dress at Ann Taylor that I loved but lets be real, I came out here to make money not spend it especially my first week here so I put it back but my nanny mom, the sweetest lady ever got it for me! I am so excited about it. It totally reminds me of something you would wear to the east coast beaches in the summer which I am so stoked for! We also made a quick stop in a Starbucks for her to grab a coffee and she got us some cake poppers which I discovered is my new favorite treat.  If you have not tried them, go now and try one. They are simply delicious. Not to mention I have an extreme addiction to chocolate as well and they feed this addiction, but they are out of this world. I would say an overall great day. Then I went down to New York that evening to accompany the mom to this party she had which was super fun as well! Then when I got home that night I had mail sitting on my bed waiting for me which could not have been a better way to end the best day ever.

comin down with a case of homesickness.

So who knew it would happen to me of all people. I usually never get too sentimental about anything especially while I'm trying to be all big and tough and brave by myself but this week has been hard. My very first week of work and it has been cold and rainy.  I hear that it is beautiful in Utah and everywhere I look (facebook and instagram) it seems like everyone is just havin a party now that schools out and their summer vacation has begun and I am 2000 miles away living with strangers working 10 hour days. It just didn't seem right. I also found I really hate the rain. It totally gets to my emotions and it makes me miss the sun. And anyone that knows me understands that I love warm weather and sunshine more than anything else so it was hard sitting inside all week. I took a couple of jogs around the neighborhood to get to know the area a little better but it was just so weird. Everything was so different from home. The houses, the feel of the town, the people, the smells.  It was hard. I really missed home and time seemed to drag on and on. Every night when I was going to bed I would count how many more days i had and that just made things seem worse cause 2 days down on a 100+ count down does not really make quite the dent I was hoping for. I missed my friends and family so much. I did not know anyone other than my nanny family. Even church was depressing. There was like 40 people in the ward and NO ONE my age. It was sucky ducky. All I wanted was to be in Holladay Utah where everyone I know is basically like family and everything is familiar. I missed everything, including my mountains to tell me where I am. Out here on the east coast there is no hope of knowing your directions so finding things with out a GPS is like suicide. It made me realize the little things that I usually take for granted like the sounds and smells from home that I love so much. Like when I step out my front door and my alarm goes "beep, beep, beep" or when I walk in my house and my mom is making some sort of delicious something and it smells up the house, or sitting at my kitchen table with my family laughing so hard and loud it could be heard miles away.  I missed staying out late playin with my friends and doing crazy stuff with them. I miss the convenience of everything.  When I am home having a nice time is just at my fingertips but out here I have to explore around and figure out what things make me happy out here.  So that is my newest adventure. Finding out what is home to me in Connecticut.

xoxo

Chaser's birthday!

Chase Coleman Naylor. . . .

My big bro and my very best friend growing up. Now we are all old and getting increasingly more boring but whenever we are together its like we will be young forever. I have learned so much from my big bro like don't take life too serious, don't stand behind a swinging batter, don't sing the wrong lyrics while he is around, find laughter in everything, don't be a wimp, and everything is going to be ok no matter what. He was the best babysitter, role model, soccer player, snowboarder, and all around coolest older brother ever. I have always wanted to be like him and to my mothers dismay I take things to the extreme. Ha and some things never change, I still wear boys clothes more than girls clothes, I like being around boys, and pushing the limits is my middle name. And all this is because I have been blessed with the best older brother in the world. Although we don't get to watch cartoons together anymore or have sleepovers in our big room I always know he will be there for me. So happy birthday to the best bro!

bye bye home sweet home

see you bye utah

  

my new room

rise and shine

different views from the side yard of the lake and the bridge

what i do when i get really really bored in an airport